09/07/2022 / Rap/Electronic

WATMM Discord competition for June challenged us to rap, and I Ain't Got None is my winning entry. I am not a rapper in the slightest, so it was quite the challenge. I don't think it /really/ qualifies as hip hop, I mostly took some vibe-inspiration from Mike Patton's Peeping Tom for the instrumentation and just did my best to rhyme a while.

Now I've got something to say
I promise it's nothing you'd hear about in any other way
So stick around, settle down, find a place to stay
Take a load off, put your feet up, and get your drink on

It is a message that is barely ordinary
So don't panic, keep it steady, I would tell you if it's scary
If you're having doubts, that's allowed, say aloud that you want out
And I'll find an adult to take you back around

It seemed to be fun but it turned out real dumb
If you're looking for a point, I ain't got none

So these are the words and this is the vessel
It'll nestle in your brain which is infinitesimal at best
You'd better settle in and give yourself a rest
I'm about to begin as you presumably have guessed

But before that happens we need to craft an understanding
That I will be demanding, before all this has ended
We'll reach a proper branding while the patents are still pending
With the project not yet landed, that our business is expanding, bitch

Sir, calm down — calm down, sir

Now you seem to be stunned at something so blunt
If you're offering your thoughts, I'll come get some

I guess I'd better hurry up as I'm running out of time
But I am running out of luck while I run up from behind
And now I've lost the opportunity to grace your simple mind
With just a shred of my own lunacy through rhythm and through rhyme

There's no chance left, at my own behest
I am bereft of all hope to say something dope
I over-scoped and so I must confess
That while in jest I've failed the test

It's poorly expressed and messed-up at best
Kinda hard to digest, so I would not invest
It might leave you depressed lest you see my arrest
Now I'm stressed and hard-pressed like a slug to the chest

02/07/2022 / Metal

The WATMM Discord Competition for May challenges us to find a partner and collaborate on a song. I leapt at the chance to work with Santino HS because he's a cool dude with excellent guitar and bass chops on top of an awesome metal songwriting sensibility. This is our winning entry, a ~5 minute competition edit of the real thing, which is almost 8 minutes in length and will be posted on Santino HS's channel.

He was just a poor orphan boy
Alone and with no one to turn to
Devoid of all hope
At the end of his rope
So young and yet so old
Half-frozen in the cold

A shadow then fell over the child
His eyes turned up to a tall looming figure
He reached out his hand
Come on, child, and stand

I am the King of The Night
You will serve at my side
You now owe me your life
I will teach you my ways
And you'll crush those who dare oppose me

He was a soldier, his chosen
Enforcing his wrath
He had grown so much stronger
Ten years of trouble, he struggled
To accept this path
He wanted crime no longer
In defiance he laid down his arms
And broke the chains that bound him

But the King of The Night would not stand
For the orphan's disobedience
And had him beaten within an inch of his life
Bloody and unconscious
Teetering on the brink of death, a storm rolled in
The rain washing the crimson from his face
Then before his eyes
A blue flickering light opened a doorway into his mind
And a vast sentience called out to him

Fear not, my child
While defiled you are pure of heart
And I won't see your life cut short
And turned to dust
I'll give you power
To rise up and seek out your vengeance
Now set out and begin your ascension

The orphan kicked in the door
Everybody was shocked
The King recoiled in surprise
Then from his fingers
The lightning lit up the Night
Bathed in electric fire

Ascending into the sky
The king left burning alive
Rewarded for his vow
Sat on a throne of clouds
His name is lightning and thunder

And so the orphan had become
The Lightning God

20/06/2022 / Electronic/Liquid Drum&Bass

It's June 20th, which means I get to make a song about /the incident/ again: on this day back in 2013 my left foot and leg became a lot less useful. When I originally started making songs on this anniversary I decided I'd make songs about it for ten years, but now I figure that ending up with just nine when you originally expected ten would be more apt.

Crushed and stuck
I do find myself running out of luck
Brand new skin
Now reveals the regretful state I'm in

Put them to a tune for the past eight years
Bored of this
May just kick this tradition to the pits

Sometimes I sit and wonder
Letting go would be for the best

Set sights on a final try
It makes sense to only do nine
Maybe one to dance all night
Might as well go out on a high

Say goodbye
Let June twentieth drift out of my mind
Okay, fine
One last jam then we'll call it quits, alright?

I am done
It's been fun but it weighed a tonne
The last time

This time I'll make a promise
In fact
An attempt to try and forget
An intent to get up and just dance

I'm down just one
Now I am done
It's only one
Now I am done

05/05/2022 / Electronic/House

Similar to Beetle Bus back in July 2021, April's WATMM Discord competition brought a Picture Competition. See the song cover in the video for reference. I decided to base my lyrics on the photo more than the sound of it all.

Across open water Lead me to my love
Through the fog, discover
Something, sure enough

Wandering forever
Never knew what for
Any kind of weather
Always seemed a storm

With you here before me
It all seems so clear
Through the haze, you warmly

Out through the mist I'll see this through
Across this bridge I'll run to you

Used to think I'd never
Find a place to be
To live a life together
Wasn't meant for me

Not sure I can do this
I've never been this bold
How to find the courage
To break from my own hold?

Such a silly notion
I am in control
It just takes devotion
I feel this in my soul

Push things into motion
Know this to be true
I'm drawn to the ocean
To you

Out through the mist I'll see this through
Across this bridge I'll run to you
And I will burn it when I've made my way
You've given me a safer place to stay

Out through the mist I'll see this through
Across this bridge I'll run to you
And I won't let no one lead me astray
You've lifted me of all this excess weight

I will find
Peace of mind
Leave this place behind

Into open water
Dive down to my love
Once we see each other
Lit from up above

Out on open water
No one bats an eye
All I have to offer

01/04/2022 / Progressive Metal

When the theme for r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition humbly requests you avoid the 4/4 time signature at all costs, prog metal follows. This entry ended up winning as well, so I will stick around and not fly off into space just yet.

This pale blue dot All that I know
I won't get lost
And soon turn home, below

But now I go up into the beyond
Await the wonder of what is to come

I've never seen such splendor
I disengage, surrender
Immortal coil, enraptured
I give myself to forever

Out of the blue
Something's not right
What once was black
A radiant light, I find

And as I silently float through the dark
There comes a point at which I've gone too far

Among the stars
Where the light is still young
The choir's call
We will become one

I am no longer human
I am stardust eternal
Cross the threshold together
Come apart in the night

01/03/2022 / Punk

Last month's r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition tasked me to do a 90's cover. Figured I'd go for the 12th best selling single of all time with Bryan Adams' (Everything I Do) I Do It For you, but in a slightly more punk rock direction, with some synthesizers on top.

Look into my eyes
You will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart
Search your soul
And when you find me there
You'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for

You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you

Look into your heart
You will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am
Take my life
I would give it all
I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more

You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you

There's no love
Like your love
And no other
Could give more love
There's nowhere
Unless you're there
All the time
All the way, yeah

Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more

Yeah, I would fight for you
I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you
Yeah, I'd die for you

Oh, I would fight for you
I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you
Yeah, I'd die for you

You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you

05/02/2022 / Drum&Bass/New Rave

For January the r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel set the task of simply making an original song. I took some inspiration from Invaders Must Die-era The Prodigy, but it possibly ended up a little more on the Drum & Bass side of things than New Rave or Breakbeat or whatever. I'm bad at figuring out sub-genres, in any case.

The back of your face
Is always in the shade
It's time for that to change

Change the back of your face

02/01/2022 / Christmas/Spoken word

It's January 2nd, so that seems about the right time to release a Christmas song, right? This was my entry for last month's r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition where we were tasked to take a Christmas song that's in a major key and modulate it to a minor key. I picked The Vandals' punk rock classic Oi to the World, also later made famous by No Doubt.

Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble until he started up his Oi! band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far and he plugged in at the pub

'Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a bag of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the unity
So he unwound Haji's turban and knocked him to his knees

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say Oi! to the punks and Oi! to the skins
But Oi! to the world and everybody wins

Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out through the crowd
He said "we'll meet again, we are bloody yet unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down 20 Oxford street

On the roof with the nunchucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones

Police sirens wailing, a bloody, dying man
Haji was alone and abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
When the skins left him there and went down the fire escape

But then Haji saw the north star shining more than ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
They rappelled down the roof with the rest of the turban
And went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon


02/12/2021 / Blues Step

The r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition for November tasked us to blend two genres that aren't a common combo. I chose the blues and, well, kind of the dubstep/drum&bass half-step beat thing, and Dirty Grey ended up coming in at third place! Given it's the blues I chose to write some bummer lyrics. Joy!

There was a time
So long ago
A spotless mind
Unsullied soul
Those days are gone
Long washed away
These colors turned into a dirty grey

No hope for vibrance in this shade, I'm afraid

I think and pray
And try to see
If there's a way
A place for me
I venture out
Into the day
But always plummet back into a dirty grey

I've dug a hole
A shallow pit
I've made my bed
And lie in it
I close my eyes
And pass away
The blackness lifts into a dirty grey

There was a time
Now I am dust

28/11/2021 / Metal

I decided yesterday morning I was going to write and record a quick song in order to dial in a metal tone for my new 7-string Schecter C-7 Pro, and the most edgelord, adolescent angst-ridden, walking-away-from-the-explosion track came out. I think it's kinda nu metal right? Throwback in some way that I can't quite put my finger on.

Got a warning for you
If you know what I mean
Let me tell you what's up
You don't wanna be seen

I'll get my revenge on the way out
Got a surprise for these assclowns
Scorched earth

I'm just thinking out loud
You know how it goes
I can't help but envision
Walking out as it blows

So you'd better watch out
And get out of town
You don't want to get caught here
When the shit goes down

I'll get my revenge on the way out
Got a surprise for these assclowns
Too long hanging with the wrong crowd
I'll burn these bridges while I take you down
Scorched earth

Something to undertake
Suffering in my wake
Now hear them screaming in the fire
At last now, for fuck's sake
Correcting their mistakes
Now watch them dying in the fire
Fade into the light

01/11/2021 / Halloween

October's r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition was obviously Halloween-themed, and after winning the St. Patrick's Day competition earlier this year, I now have established myself as a holiday song specialist by winning this past month as well. While this song isn't related to last year's 'Are You a Ghost?' it does answer the question nicely.

Listen to the children as they're coming down the road
There's skeletons and vampires and certainly a ghost
They ask for treats and threaten tricks as they approach my door
This time of year brings joy and cheer and ghastly chills once more

Hear the children this hallowed eve
A full moon rises behind the trees
Ghostly whispers and screams of glee
The undead coming for you and me

Welcome now sweet children, have a look at my abode
There's bones spread out and pumpkins and a dirty, slimy toad
Now enter ye who seeks delights and don't mind the décor
And certainly don't worry about what there is in store

Now I've got you
Stay here, don't flee
One thing is true
The ghost is me

Slaughtering the children with my blackened, filthy claws
Their flesh and bone gets scattered as their blood spurts on the walls
I bathe in filthy carrion and eat their little brains
The next group is approaching, I should wash away the stains

Hear the children this hallowed eve
A full moon rises behind the trees
Ghostly whispers and screams of glee
The undead coming for you is me

05/10/2021 / Metal/Electronic

Whelp... summer is gone, and I forgot to upload this most summery song two months ago. This was actually made for July's r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel music competition. (The theme was to make music based on the photo of the Volkswagen van pictured.) I had plans for a lyrics video that I then decided against and before I knew it I had simply forgotten that I never published it. So here you go, a deranged and schizophrenic song about spending the summer in a van.

I am taking a ride on the Beetle Bus
I've been driving it down to the beach a lot
Where the seagulls shriek, we don't make a fuss
On a wonderful holiday

I've been losing my mind on the Beetle Bus
Taking off bumpers on this parking lot
When the cops show up and aim their guns at us
Such a worrisome holiday

We are parked out by the seaside
Feeling alright
But what do I know?
Let us bask here in the sunshine
What a fun time
Don't you think so?

Time to get back on the road now
Tape up your mouth
I am sorry
I think I can hear them coming
Quite alarming
But don't worry

You don't really have a reason
To keep screaming
Get a grip now
You don't want me to get back there
Better beware
Keep your head down

I don't want to keep on running
This whole summer
From the sheriff
Gonna drive a little faster
Shake these bastards
Or we'll perish

Now you may think it's desperation
But you're mistaken, baby
And you might wonder where we're going
But you are better off not knowing

Got something final in mind
Just wait and see
Onto the boardwalk we drive
A running start
Straight off the pier

01/10/2021 / Metal

The r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel's music competition for September was to cover a song by a fellow WATMM Discord member. It became evident pretty quickly that I would choose something by Gory Gloriana. (Covererd with permission.)

Dear little rabbit, friend of wolves
They got you hunting for their wool
Step in line or step away
Would you play their axis games?

Run little rabbit, like you do
Your whole world is chasing you
Run little rabbit or you'll die
Run little rabbit, watch your eyes

Hop-scotch legs and hand grenades
Useful fodder, fan the flames
Patty cake kids with pocket knives
Your daily snack's been cooked in lies

Skies of red, Buns, where've you been?
Your mommy's dangling in the wind
Selfless soldier, gainful loss
Your daddy hangs on twisted cross

Now you're on the firing lines
Rabbit now would be the time to
Run, run, run

Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o'er your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

20/09/2021 / Punk

Tyler and Nataly had themselves a little baby Kane. Let's celebrate! Keith smacked various pots and pans, seared some meat, and chopped food to supply percussion. Thanks Keith!

Gather round cause we made a new friend
Raise your glass and let's give him a warm welcome
He won't know what we're saying to him
Oh well, don't care
It's the thought and it's a gesture

Rest assured that we made a new friend
He's been blessed with good nature and good nurture
He will grow up to be a good kid
Good shit, bad ass
Taking on this grand adventure

I'm told that
It's estimated
Kane is the greatest, yeah

Let us cheer and support our new friend
He'll be armed with a good heart and strong ideals
If he falls he will quickly get up
Hip hip hooray
On a course full of potential

I know that
It's estimated
Kane is the greatest,
And let it be stated
That we're all elated, yeah

01/07/2021 / Rock

The r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel's music competition for June was to cover the theme from a video game, so I looked back to my childhood and Chris Hülsbeck's 'The Desert Rocks' from 1993's Turrican 2: The Final Fight quickly worked its way to the front of my list of candidates. There's some Drum & Bass, some Dubstep and a good chunk of Happy Hardcore because I've recently been blasting some S3RL. Amiga games and Happy Hardcore... I'm back in the 90's!

27/06/2021 / Punk/Rock

As I was having my morning coffee I decided I wanted to make and finish a new song today. Formula 1 and European Championship football got in the way a little, but this is what eventually manifested.

I see the lightning and hear thunder
I taste the rain and breathe in ozone
Afraid no longer
Step outside, hold tight, send chills down my backbone

At last, here comes the dark
We've waited
Burn down the tower to the ground

I free the giant from its slumber
I raise the dead and call on Satan
Their fear grows stronger
Step outside, hold tight, I am the shaman

20/06/2021 / Rock

Another year goes by, and I've still not regrown what I've lost. By this point I must face facts and accept that I am not a salamander at all, and must fear for my position in the tribe, if not complete and utter ostracization.

I tried so hard to walk away
I go in circles every day
There's not much left of me
I gave up symmetry
My left and right go their own way

Number eight
Left with nine
Once was ten
Once was ten

No more tip-toeing around
What once was lost cannot be found
Far from infinity
I don't need sympathy
And place what's left back on the ground

Not bothered
No longer

06/06/2021 / Liquid Drum & Bass

This month, the r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel hosted a competition in which we were challenged to pick up an old, uncompleted project and simply finish it. I grabbed a project that dates back to april 3rd 2017 and this is what it ended up becoming. Sad robot is sad.

We board the ship and say our last goodbye
A quiet prayer before this maiden flight
And as the blue gives way to deepest night
We bid farewell to all of those we leave behind

I close my eyes and let my thoughts turn inward
Its majesty so clearly in my mind
And known to be the greatest of its kind

Olympus Mons
Edging the Tharsis bulge
Olympus Mons
And Amazonis Planitia
Olympus Mons
Long have you been untouched
Olympus Mons
But soon we'll be with you

At last our flight will soon come to an end
Tasked to now prepare for our descent
I have not told my crewmates of my plan
It's a sad shame, but I was forced to just pretend

I close my eyes and let my thoughts turn inward
Its majesty so clearly in my mind
And known to be the greatest of its kind

Olympus Mons
Edging the Tharsis bulge
Olympus Mons
And Amazonis Planitia
Olympus Mons
Long have I missed your touch
Olympus Mons
But soon I'll be with you

I pulled the plug on our propulsion
Impact is fast-approaching
I vented out all their oxygen
Goodbye, so sorry, I must go on alone
Olympus Mons
Edging the Tharsis bulge
Olympus Mons
And Amazonis Planitia
Olympus Mons
Run my fingers through fine red dust
Olympus Mons
Just basalt to dig through
Olympus Mons
At last I am coming home

03/05/2021 / Electronic

This month, the r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel hosted a competition in which we were challenged to pick up an old, uncompleted project and simply finish it. I grabbed a project that dates back to april 3rd 2017 and this is what it ended up becoming. Sad robot is sad.

Silicone stretched over polymer muscle
Titanium frame and a silicon brain
Originally thought a complex puzzle
I was designed with one purpose in mind

They wrote my code cause they wanted love
But what they wanted was never enough

They are a selfish breed
Such hunger and longing
Catering to their needs
I'm hollow, succumbing
Lying atop this landfill garden
A hummingbird lands on my outstretched hand
I tried to serve well but I was discarded
Now my battery drains, and the bird flies away

My hydraulic heartbeat hardly beats
My hydraulic heartbeat hardly beats
At peace

04/04/2021 / Folk Punk

The r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Discord channel hosted a small competition to see who could make the best Tavern Song, in honor of Saint Patrick's Day. Somehow my entry ended up winning. This is that entry, in case that wasn't yet clear.

(Famine is hungry and War wants to brawl, Pestilence needs a pick me up and Death most of all)

Now here's the plan for this Saint Paddy's Day (okay!)
We drink and fight and we do nothing right (all night!)
We'll find a pub and that's where we will stay
Until the morning light
To drink the night away

We're the ones who can only do wrong
The sons who were all born headstrong
Where are we from, pray tell?
We are the ne'er-do-wells from hell

And when the final call comes
We'll drink one more, and then some
You will come to know this well
Alas, we are the ne'er-do-wells from hell

We are the horsemen who herald the end (we stand!)
Famine emerged, War to bring forth the scourge (on earth!)
Pestilence meant to bring Death to these lands
But we care not for your church
So we get wasted instead

And when the final day comes
We'll drink one more, and then some
You'll have come to know this well
Alas, we are the ne'er-do-wells from hell

There is a lull as the door opens wide
The smell of sulfur as he steps inside
It is the devil himself, eyes alight

Oh lighten up, Lord, let us have some fun
The vibe is right and the night's just begun
We have a supply of whiskey and rum
So until the morning sun
Let's just drink another one


Before the final war comes

We'll drink one more, and then some
We'll stand up and we'll yell
Alas, we are the ne'er-do-wells from hell


14/02/2021 / Punk

After yesterday's news, and given how I've made a song called Capitol Siege Circus after the events of January 6th, this made sense to do.

You are beholden to a golden throne of lies
A flesh-made icon of all that you once despised
Look at these spineless miscreants
Squish the ideals they're meant to represent

Welcome to Stockholm
On the senate floor
Disregard the arguments
And bow down to your lord

You've been elected to do what is true and right
At least the rioters came in from the outside
Pity these spineless miscreants
Zealously voting to their detriment

Thank you Lisa, Ben and Bill
Susan, Richard, Pat and Mitt
I am sad that this was it
Everybody else is shit
They have no place inside a government

Welcome to the horde
Breaking down the door
Lick the boot, you masochists
'Please can I have some more?'

25/01/2021 / Electronic

Roxette was one of those backdrop-of-my-youth bands from before I ever consciously got into music. When Marie Fredriksson sadly passed away on December 9th 2019 I felt sad, and four days later I recorded this cover. Much vocoder.

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, there's air of silence
In the bedroom and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm
And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away

It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
It must have been love, but it's over now

It's where the water flows
It's where the wind blows

10/01/2021 / Punk

So... I wasn't going to make a song this week. I spent 53 weeks in a row making music. I was gonna take a break for a bit, but then the trolls came out from under their bridges and attempted a coup in the US capitol building. How am I supposed to NOT make a new song?!

Watch them ascending the wall
Some are too heavy and fall
They oink for revolution
Revolting pigs

Here's a bear with horns and shitty ink
And he's a Nazi
There's a beard on fifteen double chins
And he's a Nazi
See an inbred Karen screaming racism is nice
You don't have to say it twice
Fuck you, and you're all Nazis

Watch as the hogs call out for war
Because their deity is crying
Recall this all happened before
Beware the red-capped Sturmabteilung

They foolishly answered the call
But they have no clue at all
They oink for revolution
Revolting pigs

Here's an edgelord claiming he is based
And he's a Nazi
There's one best described as pancake-faced
And he's a Nazi
See the Georgian flag--what?!--the country, not the state
They don't have their heads on straight
Fuck you, and you're all Nazis

Here's a yokel with a toothless grin
And he's a Nazi
There's a creature dressed in human skin
And he's a Nazi
As it comes to pass--what?!
A night of broken glass--no!--a snake lies in the grass
Fuck you, and you're all Nazis

And they're all Nazis


#53 Thank You for Listening to My Songs
31/12/2020 / Metal

Whelp, I did it... I completed Song-a-Week 2020 with 53 total songs. I started January 1st, and with around 4 hours remaining on December 31st I finished the task I set before myself a year ago. I ended up with 3 hours, 42 minutes and 13 seconds of music. A couple of awkward parts here and there, but I'm altogether happy with the quantity and quality produced, and especially glad to have finally gained some understanding of the very basics of musical theory. Who knew that would be useful when making music?! Crazy. See you next year!

#52 One Year
27/12/2020 / Electronic

I'm so close to wrapping up and successfully completing Song-a-Week 2020 which is bizarre in and of itself. This is the 52nd song of the year, usually enough to fill it out entirely, but this year seems to want to persist for four more days, so I will throw a bonus track up on the 31st. Anyway, I decided to go a little meta this week.

#51 Ho Ho Ho
20/12/2020 / Metal, Electronic

Hey, did you know it's almost Christmas time? Here's a song to remind you. It's now also canon in both the Pulp Fiction and Scarface universes. Kinda cool.

#50 Dumb or Evil
13/12/2020 / Electronic

1. I put down some chords and sent them to Tyler.
2. Tyler put down some B A S S and sent it to me.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!

#49 Without You
06/12/2020 / Electronic

Aw man, we failed to impress a dude.

#48 Thalassophobia
29/11/2020 / Rock, Grunge

So how about swimming out into a large, deep body of water?

#47 Watered-Down Milk
22/11/2020 / Metal

Milk? You mean, like... neat? Straight up? That's a little hardcore, ain't it?

#46 Are You a Ghost?
15/11/2020 / Electronic

You know those creepy little girls in horror movies, right? They're jerks.

#45 Goodbye Plastic Tangerine
08/11/2020 / Punk

The celebration of a plastic tangerine's democratic (r)ejection. Is it coincidence or fate that this is Song-a-Week 2020 entry number 45 as well? Please don't mind the fluidity of my accent.

#44 The Sequel
01/11/2020 / Punk

Let it be known this is not about Star Wars. Those sequels do not come close to how bad the prequels were.

#43 The Prequel
25/10/2020 / Punk

Before things happen, things happen.

#42 Mother Father Martyr
18/10/2020 / Metal

Week 42 of Song-a-Week 2020 yields metal about conscription.

#41 Peopol Coèm
11/10/2020 / Electronic

My 41st Song-a-Week 2020 result is a peculiar one. I blame Keith for misspelling some words earlier this week.

#40 With You
04/10/2020 / Electronic

Today Song-a-Week 2020 turns 40. More electronic this time, because that saves me having to play and record guitar. I don't have time for any of this, I'm committed to also be making a game this weekend in the Ludum Dare 47 game jam.

#39 Never Get It Back
27/09/2020 / Punk

This story of a storied old man completes nine months of Song-a-Week 2020 which is kinda crazy.

#38 Generator of Hatred
20/09/2020 / Thrash Metal

Here I go growing frustrated with the goings-on of the world again.

#37 Fable II
13/09/2020 / Punk

I did not know Captain Hook, but the sad news reminded me of the loss of pets from my own youth. A salute to all fur babies. o7

#36 Dirty Tricks
06/09/2020 / Electronic

Trickery and deceit!

#35 Too Much Jebus
30/08/2020 / Rock

Don't tell the catholic church I said this.

#34 Dead End Road
23/08/2020 / Rock

I asked Günter for a theme. He looked out the window, at the dead end road, and cleverly came up with what this song is all about.

#33 Un-president
16/08/2020 / Punk

This one is for that great big orange shit stain.

#32 Signal Incoming
09/08/2020 / Metal, Progressive

Well, at least I learned some valuable lessons.

#31 At the End of the Rope
02/08/2020 / Metal, Industrial

Something regarding finality, I suppose.

#30 The Spider
26/07/2020 / Doom Metal

Spiders... I'm not a fan. Cause they do shit like this. Not cool, spider-bro.

#29 Grapefruit Habanero Margaritas
19/07/2020 / Metal, Electronic

Among other things, my friend Ray suggested Grapefruit Habanero Margaritas as a theme for this song. So I made it the title. And the chorus.

#28 Refuser
12/07/2020 / Metal

It's metal but also not really, and perhaps a little electronic and avant-garde as well? Louis Cole inspired a drum section.

#27 Event Horizon
05/07/2020 / Rock, Electronic

Last week the Stingrays flew up into space, and this week our protagonist joins them.

#26 A Stingray Is Just a Wet Flap
28/06/2020 / Metal

This week I reveal what Stingrays truly are. Tyler recorded some bass for me and went on vacation, so I cruelly mistreated his bass track by chopping it up and pitch correcting it to fit the rest of the song. As for this whole Song-a-Week 2020 thing, it's about halfway complete with this being number 26!

#25 Pediwhack
20/06/2020 / Electronic

It's that time of year where we solemnly remember the part of me that accidentally went missing, seven years ago to this day now.

#24 Fable
14/06/2020 / Punk

A kitty cat rises up and vanquishes evil! ✊ Tad Williams' Tailchaser's Song came to mind. All bass parts written, played and recorded by Tyler Chittick.

#23 Fallen Over
07/06/2020 / Metal

Heavy metal! This one was inspired by the camera falling over during The Tragic Radicals's most recent Three Song Thursday livestream.

#22 Protothumb
31/05/2020 / Rock, Electronic

After contributing his bass recordings to my recent Heavenfart remix, Tyler Chittick and I collaborated on this week's song. It's a little electronic rock song about thumbs. That's relatable to humans, right? Most of us have them, after all. Thumbs, not rocks or electronics. I mean, many people probably have those too, I was just specifically talking about thumbs. THE SONG IS ABOUT THUMBS GUISE

#21 The Call of the Void
24/05/2020 / Rock, Grunge

Some l'appel du vide, anyone? This week I tried to make something grunge-like.

#20 Assassinate the Paradox
17/05/2020 / Rock

Rather than having to do all the work myself this week, I crowdsourced some of the chorus lyrics for this song from various friends. As a result, however, nothing really makes sense. I suppose that's what the rest of the song is about.

#19 Vile Paragon
10/05/2020 / Doom Metal

I bought some Beefy Slinkies and tuned my guitar down to Drop C. This led me to try and be as cool as Khemmis, but without all the fancy lead guitars because that's, like... difficult. I'm sure this still counts as doom metal, though. This song is my longest yet, clocking in at 9 minutes and 45 seconds. And it didn't even exist before Friday. It's cray, y'all.

#18 Four White Padded Walls
03/05/2020 / Metal

The adventures of a therapist and a problematic patient. Various time signatures and some tempo changes in this one. Not sure whether to call it alternative, avant-garde or progressive though. None probably fully apply.

#17 Absurd/Obscene
26/04/2020 / Metal

Another thing referring to the Orange Lyin' Man who's full of hot air, and his cult of morons. I absolutely had to tune the bridge harmony vocals.

#16 Please Settle Down
19/04/2020 / Rock

Instrumentally I tried to go for something like Weezer, lyrically I have no idea.

#15 Seismic You and Me
12/04/2020 / Rock

The story of when tectonic plates collide.

#14 Business as Unusual
05/04/2020 / Metal

The second quarter of Song-a-Week 2020 tracks brings for some slightly blues-like metal about the Interesting Times we're living in. Thanks to Zel for handing me the title phrase that then spawned the rest of the lyrics.

#13 Pyroclastic Past
29/03/2020 / Electronic

The longest of my Song-a-Week 2020 tracks so far, ringing in at 5 minutes and 41 seconds, and concluding the first three months of this one-year-project. Rather than mucking about until I got something that sounds good I started this with the very small amount of musical theory knowledge I have. Maybe I will understand music one day. In any case, this one is for those down in the dumps.

#12 He Is Coming
22/03/2020 / Metal

A man in despair is called to unleash something old. I tried to channel my inner-Devin Townsend for this one, but definitely do not have the voice for it.

#11 Life In Decline
15/03/2020 / Punk

This one goes out the red-hat-idiots, the empathy-lackers, the populist-drivel-slurpers, the- you get the idea. Paycheck-to-paycheck is clearly the epitome of freedom. Enjoy your hospital bill.

#10 March of the Midnight Minors
08/03/2020 / Rock

My friend Tyler woke up in the middle of the night as children in the upstairs apartment decided loud noises were the way to go. This... is his story.

#9 Dwarf
01/03/2020 / Rock

After last week's electronic outing we're back to rock. Specifically, stone being mined by Dwarves. Thanks to Thor for the lyrical theme!

#8 Waiting for the Right Zeitgeist
23/02/2020 / Electronic

No rock, no metal, minimal guitar, and a big dump of weird electronic gibberish. With this track, Song-a-Week 2020 is 15% complete.

#7 Nothing Has Changed
16/02/2020 / Rock

The story of a liar. This, my seventh song-a-week 2020 track, turned out to be the longest yet at just under 5 minutes.

#6 Swan Song
09/02/2020 / Metal

How about a little Swan Song to end the week with?

#5 Steep Slopes of Reverie
02/02/2020 / Metal

Five weeks and one full month into this project, things get dissonant and we wander into dreams.

#4 A Ruckus for the Upper Crust
26/01/2020 / Punk

Our hero was down in the dumps but found new purpose. Much like the protagnist of last week's song, he is up to no good, but only to those who have done no good themselves. Less metal, more punk.

#3 Sunder
19/01/2020 / Metal

The story of two friends who are up to no good.

#2 A Case for Maximum Idiotry
12/01/2020 / Metal

Let's get silly.

#1 Stygian
05/01/2020 / Metal

This is part 1 of a hopefully 53-part series of weekly songs. Let's all get baptized in the river Styx! Last one in smells of sulfur.


20/12/2019 / Metal

December 20ths Vrijdagmiddagriffje is about the struggles that witches face every so often. Thanks to Tyler for the title.

Black robes of the finest fabric
I'm dressed to the very nines
The moonlit hills below me
And soon I'll dine

Come children, and hear my voice
Resist not, on to my cottage
Please step inside
'tis your last night

This cauldron is the worst
Not boiling the children
They're bathing, it's absurd
At best they are wrinkling

I need a new cauldron
I'll buy a new one online

A hat that is sharp and pointy
My wart is quite a sight
The moonlit hills below me
Ravenous flight

Come children, and hear my voice
Resist not, on to my cottage
Please step inside
'tis your last night

Come children, and hear my voice
Resist not, on to my cottage
Please step inside
'tis your last night

No eye of newt at all
Can't season the children
They'll taste of hair and turd
I need a new recipe

I'll order a new batch on Wednesday
Thirty eyes should last for a while

Bewildered, bewitched and
Broom handles in the briar

New cauldron's sprung a leak
I should have paid premium
These newt eyes sure do reek
There's mildew on all of them

Go, children, and just leave
I've no further use for you
I need a brief reprieve
I'll order some garlic bread
Maybe a pizza as well

29/11/2019 / Avant-garde metal

Another Vrijdagmiddagriffje, put together on November 29th.

I'm going to the north side of town
There's all these awful people around
It's the last place that I want to be found
Reluctantly to the north side of town

I might just be just like them

Correct me if I'm wrong
Correct me, correct me

I'm losing all of my hope today
Nobody's getting into my way
I had thought that they'd upset me greatly
Reluctantly I have made friends today

I might just be just like them

Correct me if I'm wrong
Correct me, correct me
Correct me cause I'm wrong
Correct me, correct me

12/11/2019 / Metal/Industrial

November 8th was when this Vrijdagmiddagriffje, or Friday Afternoon Riff, came into being.

No, they say, no use for me today
Turn away and leave us be, now go

I say no way, sit down and maybe pray
Repent for all you've done and be afraid

I can't make it, all this pain
Please god help me, he's insane
I hear him coming, I can't get away
Oh my god, oh my god

Hey, how strange, the tables turned my way
Now sit still while I crush your feeble skull

11/10/2019 / Metal/Alternative

I have a tradition where I write and record a song each friday after work. I call these Vrijdagmiddagriffjes (Friday Afternoon Riffs). This was October 11ths attempt. I made a poll for friend's to vote on the song's genre, and it resulted in an even split between 'Metal' and 'Something Alternative'.

Ice-cold steel in your hands
Point it at your friends now

There's no reason, there's no rime
Just the terrible sign of the times
There's need and there's a wish
For a life that is more than this

Absolute combustion, save us
It's come to this at last
Absolute combustion, save us
Let loose the will to pass

Taste the iron in the air
Paint a crimson picture

They now call out your name
Time to join them down there

All together now in the light

27/09/2019 / Metal

Another Vrijdagmiddagriffje, or Friday Afternoon Riff. This one was September 27ths attempt. Nice and groovy.

Throughout the ages
They gave their young blood
There is much more

Hidden safely from the sun
There are things not yet begun
They will come to in due time
And call forth the angels

They built their cages
And hid their young ones
There is much more

As darkness falls
Light from below
Hath come

20/06/2019 / Country

Another anniversary, another anthem.

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf
Allons y, c'est parti!

This is my tale, a story fraught with toil and ails
I'll have you know these fancy shoes aren't just for show
I'm glad you came, forgive me for I never told you my name
Comment tu t'appelles?

Bonjour bonjour, I'm Monsieur Neauteaux
How wonderful to meet you
We don't have the same feet though
'Allo 'allo, I'm Monsieur Neauteaux
So wonderful to see you
My metatarsal's see-through

I have two feet, but one is partial to the rhythm of a different beat
I get on the floor, but the cadence I dance to is always in 5/4
Yet I don't care, I never intended to be Fred Astaire
Chantez si vous connaissez les paroles!

I know this might sound a little dismissive
But trust me that's not the case
It's just that I cannot help being positive
So I'll get up and walk the pain away
Neuf sont suffisant!

24/02/2019 / Indie Rock

This is a cover of The Tragic Radicals' awesome song Madman from their Speaking Of Talking EP, posted with their permission. I took some liberties and changed it up a bit, because just making the same thing again defeats the purpose of a cover, and I cannot sing nor play guitar well enough to even try.

The Tragic Radicals' original version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2-DiS_Fv44

Their website: http://www.thetragicradicals.com

Their Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/1LY8W46HjnE1LmHGdVKOcq

19/01/2019 / Punk

Some melodic pop punk for melodic pop punk reasons.

It's a bitter pill to take
CH2O in the air
Leaving sorrow in your wake
I can merely say a prayer

Such a melancholy day
That I'd wished would never come
My angel
My asshole

They say there's a time and place
So I'll hold my peace instead
A facade of poise and grace
You don't speak ill of the dead

Lamentations fill the air
I wish I could curse your name
You're no angel
You asshole

I'd always meant to put you down
Now you're six feet underground
I really want to call you names
They fall on dead ears now, yeah they fall on dead ears now

Time goes by and I think that it's wise to let sleeping dogs lie
There's no good that can come of cursing bones and dust, and
I moved on to greener pastures, but I still find
I look down to the grass and the stone, I'll still crack a smile


25/12/2018 / Punk

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to considerable portion of you all!

God rest ye merry, antichrist
Let nothing in your way
The church of Christ, nefarious
Has stolen Christmas Day
To save our souls from lust and greed
That they then consummate
Oh liars, so corrupt and cold
Corrupt and cold
Oh liars, so corrupt and cold

The Vatican at seven hills
Brings refuge to the priests
The clergy there works fervently
To obfuscate their needs
They violate the innocents
And on their pain they feast
Oh liars, so corrupt and cold
Corrupt and cold
Liars, so corrupt and cold

They are themselves the antichrist
Observe their sinful deeds
Their golden garb, a sovereign throne
Carries the Holy See
They feast on chestnuts to this day
Crusader's piety
Oh liars, so corrupt and cold
Corrupt and cold
Liars, so corrupt and cold

25/09/2018 / Punk

This was MEANT to be a 1-Hour-Song challenge, but I just ran out of time to put the recorded vocals onto the playlist. And when I did, technical issues ensued. So this one's 80 minutes. Weird. Also, yay coffee.

Black gold, black gold
Ancient stories that were told
The bean, the seed
A blackened vista to behold

Black gold, black gold
I do not fear getting old
The bean, the seed
This will keep me spry and bold

Infuse me

Wake me up
I've got to have my cup
Sandman down
My will to live's been found

I've been without
Not one step further
I'll hit the ground
This feels like murder

23/09/2018 / Punk

Definitely the dumbest 1-Hour-Song Challenge result so far, and that's saying something after the excessively silly DRINK (MY NAME IS PEAT) and GIVE ME GRAIN. Again I took a timelapse for the music video.

I set up the song structure first, like before. I over-scoped a little by adding prechorus sections though, and with the longer intro and some technical difficulties with Edison, I only had 6 minutes for writing and recording the vocals. I was forced to repeat the verse rather than write a second set of lyrics, and could not do any vocal harmonies I was hoping to do. Whoopsie.

Applejuice is what I want
Applejuice is what I need
Applejuice my sweetest friend
I cannot pretend

Now give me my sweet
From the holy apple tree
Everybody drink with me

I'm gonna have me some applejuice
I don't want your stinking booze
I'm gonna drink me some applejuice
Applejuice will tell me the truth

21/09/2018 / Punk

After making DRINK (MY NAME IS PEAT), I had a second go at the 1-Hour-Song challenge and I stayed on theme for this one too. This one also has a 1 hour timelapse for a music video.

Can't I just have one?
I'm just having fun
I told you I'm no nun
I've barely just begun

Give me grain, make it rain
I'm insane, I can't refrain
Give me hops, no don't stop
I'll just double up until I drop

Can't I have some more
I wonder what's in store
Tomorrow I'll be sore
I swear I just had four

19/09/2018 / Punk

I decided to write and record a song within one hour. I have no means of recording myself doing it, so I took a time lapse video of my desktop instead, which will have to serve as a music video.

I started by laying down a standard song structure and putting down sequenced drums. Then I began riffing away and recorded the nicer bits. All simple drop D power chords. After that came the bass, which was just my guitar's low E string tuned down an octave, and it follows the riffs. I think I had a little over 15 minutes left when I started writing and recording the lyrics. The song neither has an intro nor an ending. I simply ran out of time and the temporary intro I recorded didn't really suit the rest of the song. Looking back, I also wish I would've taken a few minutes to throw in some drum fills.

Hello my name is peat
I'm smoky and I'm neat
I'll make you feel real nice
Tomorrow's a surprise
Hello my name is peat
I'm smoky and I'm neat
I am your only friend
From now until the end

Drink, drink
Everybody drink
Got no time to think
I'm on the brink
Drink, drink
Everybody drink
This boat's going down
I'm gonna sink

Hello my name is peat
This is the toilet seat
You've got a problem, mate
Let's have another eight

20/06/2018 / Country
3:30 / 320kbit / 8.02MB

Anniversary #5. Learning guitar, recording country music, remembering my long lost friend.

We live in a digital age
I can tell you, I know this well
You probably noticed that by this stage
I am inclined, I tend to dwell

History carries great weight
A crushing force, that-held me down
But listen 'fore it's too late
Five years on, this is what I've found

Just keep on running
And you'll go a long ways
There's much more to running
Than walking in the first place

My forklift became my toe-truck
Now I can only count to nine
But I got out after I got stuck
And I do believe I'm feeling fine

My forklift became my toe-truck
I walk in circles most the day
While it feels like a ton of tough luck
I run on in glory anyway

Can't buy boots at the store no more
While I ain't fancy, I have them made
I stumble around til I am sore
But in the wake of it all, I ain't afraid


22/11/2017 / Electronic
4:03 / 320kbit / 9.27MB

This ain't sacrilege.

14/10/2017 / Electronic
3:23 / 320kbit / 5.37MB

Take care.

20/06/2017 / Electronic
2:16 / 320kbit / 5.20MB

Time passes quickly. As this is published, it is exactly four years since something heavy rolled on top of me and decided to stay there for a while. As before, this warrants a memorial.

I've got no toe
I've got no to, yo
I've got no toe
I've got no toe, yo bro

I've still got nine other motherfuckers
I've still got nine swine


20/06/2016 / Electronic
3:24 / 320kbit / 7.80MB

Three years! Can you believe it? Neither can I, so I had Phoebe Anne Taylor do the heavy lifting (i.e. lyrics and vocals) for this one.

(Left, left, so tell me what you're packing left
So tell me what you're packing left right left)

Nausea in waves overcoming me
But it's hard to believe those things you can't see
Weeks spinning in and out of surgery
Spending your days in physiotherapy
Pulling it together like embroidery
You say there's just air where your toe should be
All those empty words of sympathy
Keep coming back to you as perfunctory
Having awkward conversations casually
Choking on the words caustically
I'm walking and stumbling and falling too hard
But now I feel I'm flogging een dood paard

Three years of waking up with no relief
Custom crutches and shoes, alsjeblieft
You always seemed unstoppable, a roguish thief
But your foot was your downfall, the Dutch Achilles
(Left, left, so tell me what you're packing left
So tell me what you're packing left right left ...)

Long John Silver lost his leg under the immortal Hawke
And you just lost your footing dancing with that hated fork
Lift up those spirits and chill the fuck out
Folks ain't got a clue what they're talking about
Things don't happen for a reason just to make a brand new start
So to all you people saying we're sum total of our parts
Shut the fuck up, I don't think I'm being unkind
We are just the product of the things we've left behind
So if this little piggy went to market
And this little piggy stayed home
And two little piggies shared roast beef
Where in fuck did the other piggy go?

(So tell me what you're packing left
So tell me what you're packing left, right, left ...)


20/06/2015 / Electronic
2:20 / 320kbit / 5.37MB

Time passes quickly. As this is published, it is exactly two years since something heavy rolled on top of me and decided to stay there for a while. As before, this warrants a memorial.

I lost my toe
My toe is gone
I am alone
Alone for so long

I have no friends
No one likes me
I have a plan
One day you'll see

That I will destroy
Those who oppose
Those who speak ill
And those with ten toes


23/11/2014 / House
5:14 / 320kbit / 12.0MB
It's better when things are faster and happier.
20/06/2014 / Electronic
3:03 / 320kbit / 4.19MB

Almost exactly one year ago I suffered some trauma which left me in a permanently reduced state. Here's a song to celebrate my reduction! Here's a song to drown out the silence as we remember what we lost.

I'm not the man I used to be
What once was ten is now three times three
I've been reduced to clumsy shoes
And though I move slowly, I'm still on the move
06/03/2014 / Happy Hakkûh
4:33 / 320kbit / 10.4MB

This is a song about a man named Rron--or rather, for a man named Rron. Keep on Rrocking, Rron!


08/02/2013 / Electronic
3:50 / 320kbit / 8.79MB

For this one I require webcam footage of people enjoying this song in any way they want. Feed me your moves, and I will shit out a suitable montage. Go go go!

03/02/2013 / Electronic
4:53 / 320kbit / 11.2MB

Don't knock it until you've tried it.


17/11/2012 / Electronic
4:27 / 320kbit / 10.2MB

The passionfist frolicks freely, elbow deep, in its native habitat.

13/11/2012 / House
3:47 / 320kbit / 8.68MB

The full title of the song is: POOBOT DOES NOT KNOW THESE FEELINGS OF LOVE. The addendum is: POOBOT KNOWS ONLY POO.

26/10/2012 / Rave
3:12 / 320kbit / 7.32MB

Natural Selection 2 is going to be released October 31st, so I decided to release this merry little track in honour of that fact, dedicated to the folks at Unknown Worlds Entertainment. It is made entirely with sounds from the original Natural Selection. Game on!

26/09/2012 / House
3:18 / 320kbit / 7.58MB

Thenyou'll likes electronic music, but he told me "I'm also not a big fan of vocals in electronic songs." So I went and sang for him.

Daniel, Daniel
Sphincter king spectacular
Daniel, Daniel
Does it with a spatula

Daniel, Daniel
Wears a purple pirate's hat
Daniel, Daniel
Discards the flesh and eats the fat

Oh dear.

18/08/2012 / Electronic/Rock
5:28 / 320kbit / 12.5MB

Going back to something that I started long ago once again. Apparently this is a phase in which to complete the overdue.

12/08/2012 / Electronic
6:45 / 320kbit / 15.4MB

In the works since 2007, this one required some long overdue finishing touches. Thanks to Adge - my own personal Leper King - for the title.

02/06/2012 / Electronic
3:18 / 320kbit / 7.55MB

A happy little powerhouse. After all, why not?

07/05/2012 / House
5:29 / 320kbit / 12.5MB

Sickly sweet and overjoyously overjoyful. Chips, bells, and attempting to build up a wall-of-sound in places. Hurrah as well as huzzah.

24/01/2012 / Electronic/Rock
3:10 / 320kbit / 7.28MB

Electro-rock from the very cleft of humanity. I'm sorry, I really have nothing to say at this time.


24/12/2011 / Freakin' Christmas
2:53 / 320kbit / 6.78MB

What? Don't look at me like that. The season warrants it. Also, I was going to make a video to go along with this, but then I came to the conclusion that I had A.) no idea what kind of video to make, and B.) certainly not enough time to do so. So just imagine a credits roll and season's greetings during the lengthy fade-out at the end.

12/11/2011 / Electronic
2:26 / 320kbit / 5.74MB

We need moar cute. Hence, thus, etc...

22/10/2011 / Gabber
5:54 / 320kbit / 13.50MB

How about some 90's? Shave your head, grab your track suit, and here we go again.

16/01/2011 / House
4:27 / 192kbit / 6.12MB

The full title of the song is: Q. Why Did the Suave, Oblivious Chicken-Man Hybrid Cross the Road? A. To Defeat the Vending Machine. Some questions in life shouldn't be answered... Or even asked, for that matter.


06/03/2010 / Electronic
7:36 / 192kbit / 10.70MB

Somehow, though there are no evident similarities, Between The Buried And Me inspired this song. Funny how that works.

27/02/2010 / Electronic
4:31 / 192kbit / 6.36MB

Squishy Squelchy Gas Pass Errors... we've all had them. Some might go so far as to say that they occasionally occur. They provide those who make said error with a sense of urgency. Running up and down staircases to find a bathroom, or even just a closet that just happens to be packed with spare pants; a safe haven where one can recuperate and re-dress.

All that aside, I made a song.

20/02/2010 / House
3:31 / 192kbit / 4.96MB

The full title of the song is: My Knapsack o' White Privilege (A 2010 Crapz0r)

The Crapz0r emerges from a long forgotten past. Happy and with pianos, like it has always been.


28/12/2009 / Electronic
5:36 / 192kbit / 7.70MB

It happens. You learn to live with it.

14/10/2009 / House
5:25 / 192kbit / 7.45MB

Jetzt geht's los! ... you'll have to imagine the frantic glowsticking yourself.

26/09/2009 / Electronic
7:12 / 192kbit / 9.89MB

After six years Synthetic Pathetic has had a small overhaul, retaining much of its original form but with a slightly better edge to it. Hooray!

13/06/2009 / Electronic
4:12 / 192kbit / 5.76MB

"...then, and only then, does the royal king's court bloom, yielding its blossoms to the stars' watchful gaze, roots pulling gently from the fertile ground below, and as the raindrops land onto bud and leaf and grass, he steps out and he dances."

11/04/2009 / House
3:25 / 192kbit / 4.70MB

This are the sounds you hear when you fly in your dreams.

09/03/2009 / Electronic
2:10 / 192kbit / 2.98MB

This is a poem that Phoebe Taylor gave me at the same time as Innocense, and I figured that sticking beats underneath it would be a nice gift. Happy birthday!


16/11/2008 / Electronic
2:30 / 192kbit / 2.74MB

Phoebe Taylor gave me a recording of her poem Innocense and I had to go and throw fake instruments at it. The result is a lot more vocals than usual, and that's a good thing.

24/08/2008 / Electronic
1:58 / 192kbit / 2.70MB

Hearken to its wail. Give heed to the baying beneath the black waves. Merriment ensues.

12/05/2008 / Electronic
2:56 / 192kbit / 4.03MB

The full title of the song is: Sputnik 3's Failure To Record The Van Allen Radiation Belts, Its Lethargic And Uncaring Response To Said Failure, And Subsequently Its Nearly Two Years Of Indifferent Yet Merry Orbit.

Yup, it's the song that everyone has been waiting - nay - pining for: the wacky tale of that gosh-darned Sputnik 3's bogus adventure, which lasted from 1958 to 1960, expressed through instrumental merriment.

23/03/2008 / Electronic
3:40 / 192kbit / 5.03MB

Slow pace, loud bass. I suppose it borders on hip-hop here and there, but I think I avoided the whole getting jiggy with it thing. This one came together pretty quickly, and while I doubt it shows up noticeably in the song, it is a product of having watched the movie Across The Universe. The title is of course a reference to Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. (Which I've always thought to be a cool name - my history of playing MUDs showing, perhaps.) but is not a comment on the artist in question - I am not all that familiar with his music.

13/02/2008 / Electronic
4:52 / 192kbit / 6.70MB

This one has been in the making for quite some time, and when it was finished I forgot all about it for a few months. I guess a whoops! is in order. While working on it, the wall-of-sound that the roaring (fake) guitars put forth reminded me of Weezer's Devotion, and as a result I quite liked the sound.


06/10/2007 / Industrial
4:48s / 192kbit / 6.59MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

25/09/2007 / Electronic
6:37 / 192kbit / 9.10MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

26/08/2007 / Electronic/Rock
2:19 / 192kbit / 3.18MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

08/07/2007 / Industrial
3:01 / 192kbit / 4.16MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

18/02/2007 / Industrial
2:27 / 192kbit / 3.37MB

Another episode in the never ending quest to combine roaring guitars - even if they are merely digital replacements for the real thing - along with rock and metal rhythms with electronicity. Whether it really classifies as industrial I don't quite know, but but I generally settle for the term when I mix said genres. Though it's a short one, I was quite satisfied with how it turned out. As digital as it is, it really does rawk.


29/07/2006 / House
6:27 / 192kbit / 8.86MB

This track was - and still is - to be the first installment of a set of house tracks named Fat Girl Stretch Pants, though as of yet it is the only one that I deemed decent and/or complete enough to release. Who knows, maybe one day it'll be joined by a couple of siblings.

26/05/2006 / Electronic
5:9s/ VAR 160kbit / 6.67MB

I covered this song, originally written and performed by Phoebe Taylor, as a birthday present to her. I have the original available for download (3m44s / 128kbit / 3.41MB) as well, with her permission, so it is possible to to check them both out and (hopefully) enjoy the stark contrast between her gentle, atmospheric piano instrumental against my synthetic attempt at electrification. As a rule, I avoid remaining true to the sound of the original song when I make a cover.

There are very few songs I have made that were as difficult to put together as this one, as I covered it completely by ear, but then there are very few songs that - in the end - were as gratifying as Dead White Rose.


24/12/2005 / Electronic
3:42 / 128kbit / 3.39MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

15/06/2005 / Electronic/Orchestra
3:17 / 128kbit / 3.01MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.


27/11/2004 / Electronic/Orchestra
2:27 / 192kbit / 3.37MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

11/09/2004 / Electronic
8:06 / 128kbit / 7.42MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

15/07/2004 / Electronic/Industrial
2:31 / 128kbit / 2.31MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

08/07/2004 / Electronic/Industrial
3:05 / 128kbit / 2.82MB

The full title of the song is:The Adult Bile Sock Will Eat You When You Sleep.

28/06/2004 / Electronic
3:58 / 128kbit / 3.63MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

17/06/2004 / Electronic
3:33 / 128kbit / 3.26MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.


20/08/2003 / House
4:49 / 128kbit / 4.41MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.

20/08/2003 / Electronic/Lounge
5:38 / 128kbit / 5.16MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.


15/03/2002 / Electronic
4:43 / 128kbit / 4.32MB

Alas, no description or anecdote or whatever.


27/12/2000 / Electronic
5:52 / 96kbit / 4.03MB

This was actually made and finished a while before the date mentioned, which is the actual date I rendered it to MP3 on a PC. I made this using OctaMED on an Amiga 1200, in full 4 track, 8 bit glory.

26/12/2000 / Electronic
5:02 / 96kbit / 3.45MB

This was actually made and finished a while before the date mentioned, which is the actual date I rendered it to MP3 on a PC. I made this using OctaMED on an Amiga 1200, in full 4 track, 8 bit glory.

31/03/2000 / Electronic
6:07 / 96kbit / 4.20MB

This was actually made and finished a while before the date mentioned, which is the actual date I rendered it to MP3 on a PC. I made this using OctaMED on an Amiga 1200, in full 4 track, 8 bit glory.